Shapefile Goodness

So during a recent patch this happened

"ArcGIS 10.2 for (Desktop, Engine, Server) Shapefile crash on open Patch"

Thereby eliminating shapefiles, or folders as a geospatial data format.

Those of us who understand WHAT DATA NEEDS TO DO were all like

Then, those of the community who went to a community college ESRI Training they were all like

Learning now this wasn’t ESRI’s “Final Solution” for the shapefile I’m