For Southern California. Risk of innodaation by Kool a a large risk from July 13-July 17th.
KOOL AID DRINKING DRAG OUT A FUCKING DOG AND PONY SHOW
When I get off the metro, I’m normally pretty chipper, I either have a book on tape, or a SMODcast blasting in my ear and I’m ready to face the fucking day.
Unless its raining
Regardless, I normally come in in a good mood. Then after about 2 hours of ArcMAP things change a tad. I start to get a little daft, crashes, stupid 8 click processes, general slowness.
I normally take a quick break for lunch, and the asian food in our cafe is on the good side
Once lunch is over, in about 6 minutes I’m back to this
ArcSDE crap, ARcGIS Server being slow, going down, not working right, dealing with shapefiles and biting my tongue in front of ESRI Reps, by the time 1600 rolls around I’m all like
And this continues until I get home, and start jacking around with Q, or making R do stupid Geo Tricks. Suddenly, its like I’m in a field with a breeze, ready to face another day.
"Billion dollars worth of software" mucky muck from the Durr Star out of Redlands.
I know i used this gif before, but it didn’t have the text :).
ESRI is operating on fuzzy math here, what they are doing is giving every student access to AGOL.
So there are roughly 66 million primary and secondary students in the United States, which means if each and every child uses the services they get an “unlimted” AGOL account for 15 bucks. I’m sure there will be limites and governors on geocoding and geoprocessing. Not that they won’t be able to do it, but they’ll be limited by how much they can push across.
All this is is ESRI creating a photo op and leveraging a pre existing framework that can be easily spin up and spin down.
Sure, it will cost them some extra bucks in Amazon time, and bandwidth, but its not like they’re taking a major it.
In 2010 some company did something, who was it hmmmm,….
Oh yeah Google Fusion Tables. Which basically has the same process as AGOL, and this is free to EVERYONE. No fan fare, no Obama photo op, Google just did it.
And if you include temporal data, you could make your own Mapstory..D’oH Story Map (sorry Chris, I didn’t mean to step on your copyright)… in 2010
New slogan for ESRI
ESRI, now only 4 years behind Google.
Now if you excuse me, I need to figure out how to plug in a usb
So, the Ringleader in Redlands is at it again. Naming stuff, with current pop cultural references. ESRI’s career board had a posting for this (Its just the job title. The job description is so vague and poorly written, it might as well been DO COMMUNITY STUFFS)
Enterprise (Jive) Community Specialist
“Play a major role in introducing and growing this online network across Esri, built to support internal communities of practice and innovation. “
I know large companies need social media managers, and collaboration specialists so they aren’t stepping all over each other. Thats not my issue.
My issue is they’re calling it Jive. Considering the amount of creativity that goes into external marketing campaigns, I can’t imagine what the internal ones are like. And naming it Jive? Did you pop culture references stop with Welcome Back Kotter, and Freddy “Boom-Boom” Washington?
I couldn’t find an animated gif from Airplane, so here is a static one.
So we can assume that ESRI is looking for June Cleaver. In order to keep this entertaining, I plugged Jive Community into my favoite animated gif search engine, and I’ll share the top 3
That should have been obvious
I have to admit Jesse from the prequel to Showgirls was something I was not expecting.
Here is the point. The ESRI marketing department is as creative as a 7th grade Gym Coach. ”Well, Jive means talking so, okay.” Actually, it doesn’t. Straight from the Fridge Dad (the last dictionary you’ll ever need) defines Jive
allow them to be all like this at work
In reality this is going to happen…A BUNCH
And then the Analysts will be all like
Then they’ll call ESRI support
Then I’ll be all like
ArcGIS Pro Prebeta Alpha Gamma World Zed was released this week. Its an ESRI product, so we all know there is more hyperbole in the advertisements and demos than “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs”
So, I start seeing 3D examples of “Web Scenes” I decide to take a gander
Looks like what Skyline was doing back in 05, and I could do a whole bunch more with OpenGL.
So as usually ESRI’s hype was.
The Web scene “viewer” takes forever to download, and the data takes another fucking forever. So, compared to OpenGL, “Web Scenes” are a fucking
We attack when needed and we praise when something good comes out of the Death Star out in Redlands.
ESRI finally got its Shit together on something
Behold the Southeast Users Conference (SUC)
I bet their next product will be the Spatial Computation and Analysis Tool (SCAT)
Good job on naming stuff ESRI.
they can do with GIS
What they can actually do
Moral to this story, lose the canned demos
when I walk into a situation, solve the problem in 2 minutes and walk the fuck out.
Of course, the answer was “DUMP MOTHERFUCKING SDE”
Note, this is humor, there isn’t a member of the board this young.
When I was just a small geographer, looking at the world of Greyhawk map. I found my father’s Woody Woodbury LP. This is what transformed the small little geographer into the raging DRUNKENFUCKING GEOGRAPHER.
DG (Note Digital Globe is DiGo) is going to start showing love for its readers. Stay tuned for details for swag give aways, and a series of Paintings of Pantless Drunken Geographers, starting with TN’s own @rjhale
and every just calls me “ESRI Guy”